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5280 Fight Club Make RMRG Proud at the Continental Cup West in August

by Sylvia’s Wrath
photos by Southern Discomfort

In early August, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls 5280 Fight Club hit the road to play in WFTDA’s Continental Cup West in Orem, Utah. We had some ups and downs, but in the end, a great time was had by all. Fight Club was the fourth seed, and we first faced off against tournament hosts Happy Valley Derby Darlins, an obvious crowd favorite as the home team. Though Fight Club battled to the end, Happy Valley proved victorious, pulling out a five point win over the Rocky Mountain team. Although we were disappointed with the outcome, everyone fought hard and the camaraderie and support from teammates on the bench and leaguemates back home kept things in perspective. Always looking on the bright side, we took solace in the fact that the loss allowed us a day of rest and recreation on Saturday. Rather than mope over our defeat in a very close game, we took to the beaches of Deer Creek reservoir in Provo Canyon. If you’ve never been, it’s worth the road trip! We picnicked in the grass, relaxed in the sun, and even played a little “volleyball” in the chilly waters of the reservoir, which felt great after a tough game the night before!

When a storm rolled in Saturday afternoon, we took the party back to the hotel pool, where chicken fights and synchronized swimming rounded out an amazing day of bonding. This followed by team dinner that included an embarrassing birthday dessert delivery for Coach Mark Henry (was it REALLY his birthday? Maybe, maybe not). On Sunday, we were back on the track to face off against Australia’s Adeladies, formidable opponents for sure. This time, Fight Club was able to pull out the win, taking the game 137-119. Sure felt good to end on a high note! Win or lose, Rocky did it as a team. And even if we didn’t bring home a medal, the good times spent together on this trip just proved to us that no matter what, RMRG always wins.

Rocky Stampede at Udder Chaos

By Justice of the Peach

There are very few times in life where you are able to experience transcendence, a moment where you are lifted out of the gerbil wheel of your own life and can see the vast expanse of the universe and appreciate all the subtle intricacies. If you’re interested in feeling this without taking the time for a yogic retreat or near death experience, try getting the cheese curds at The Old Fashioned in the heart of Madison, Wisconsin across from the capital building. Like the fried, fluffy clouds of high cholesterol heaven, the deep-fried cheese melts away in your mouth, neither stringy nor tough. Lactose afflicted despair, gird your loins and take a bite. The cramps will be worth it.

For this season’s away games, Rocky Mountain Rollergirls A & B teams traveled to Madison the first weekend of April to take part in the second annual Madison Roller Derby, Udder Chaos tournament. We lost no time in immersing ourselves into the local culture, including multiple field studies on the integrity of the local dining establishments’ cheesy appetizers.

Held inside the Hartmeyer Ice Arena, a concrete floored building with high wooden stands for the spectators, several lockers rooms with tomb like acoustic qualities, and a fine array of vendors, Udder Chaos was a highly enjoyable away experience for RMRG (minus the fact that despite the clemently overcast weather, the elevated humidity led to swamp like conditions after the first day inside the building).

Several of the Fight Club players exhibited their beast mode powers by playing back to back games all weekend, skating in their own bouts, and then stepping in to help fill the Contenders roster. Skating against Ann Arbor, Madison and Naptown, Rocky came away with one hard earned win for Fight Club and some very close loses for the Contenders.

RMRG was happy to travel to this tournament (some even commemorating the event with tiny cheese tattoos) and even commented on what a nice place to live Madison would be-then someone remembered it gets to minus 40 in the winter and we all promptly hustled back onto the airplane home.

For more tournament action remember to check RMRG’s upcoming tournament, Besterns, the weekend of June 7th. E-ville Roller Derby, Happy Valley Derby Darlins, Houston Derby, and Madison Roller Derby will be in attendance. Check out our Facebook for details!

Photo credits: Assaultin’ Pepa, Chi Chi Chong, Justice of the Peach, and Harper Bizarre

Follow Rocky Down the Rabbit Hole

Our Alice in Wonderland themed “prom” night was full of fun and surprises as well as really incredible costumes. Congrats to our award winners and thanks to the incredible events team for putting together such a memorable evening! Photo credit Holly Kate aka Justice of the Peach.

The 2019 awards went to:

Craziest Daisy – ChiChi Chong
Sweetest Sugar – NintenDoll
Reppin’ the Hood – Clitterference
Most Postal Pummeler – Morfiend
Unicorn Award (Fight Club) – Jersey Whirl
Tupac Award (Contenders) – Massey
Robert Paulson Award (Project Mayhem) – Angry Topaz
Kickass Kill Scout – Animal Style
Yammer of the Year – Pink FlamNgo
Feel the Pain (Best Blocker) – Fiona Grapple
Most Improved Skater – Melter Skelter
Ref/NSO Award – Popa Pain
Team Heckle – Betty Bedder
Heart of RMRG – Harper Bizarre
Unsung Hero – Motorbutt
Biggest Coach Impact – CoachEena
Best Sportsmanship – Daisey Danger
Off Skates But Still a Badass – SB