Skater of the Month: Melter Skelter

Expectation pools heavy on the darkening air as people cozy down onto blankets and into chairs, eager for the coming show. As the veil of night draws everyone deeper into its’ folds, the watchers begin to mummer in restive eagerness. Will it ever be time?

Just as the smallest of the children begin to grow fidgety and restless with anticipation, just as someone begins to head for the can, just as you begin to think – What the hell, I might as well go back for another scoop of potato salad, chub rub has already burned a hole on one inner thigh today- the first of the fireworks explode across the sky in a startling and inspiring show of bright force, each denouement of the previous display eclipsed again and again by the rising crescendos, and you find yourself pinned to the spot, riveted by the spectacle as the crowd gives a collective sigh of, “Ooooh…. Awww….”.

Have we set the scene for you? Good. Now swap out “fireworks,” for “Melter Skelter,” and we can get started talking about our July Skater of the Month.

Much like the majestic displays of annual rockets seen in parks and stadiums, RMRG’s Skelter burst onto the scene 2 years ago this September, pleasantly awing all onlookers, and continuing to outdo herself as time goes on.

Our gamine girl grew up on a dairy farm in upstate New York, played softball in college, tackle football and then rugby, thus setting a precedent for mild and lady like sports before finding roller derby. P.S. she also trained as a boxer with a member of the “Wonder Woman,” cast (P.P.S. although her chest protector is made of plastic, the Skelter Fruit did not fall far from Bronze Breastplate Tree of the women of Amazonia).

Stripling and svelte, Skelter (who joined derby with her partner’s daughter, Killer Kitten, was reportedly so uncoordinated the kid didn’t want to skate with her) quickly caught onto the whole wheel shoes things, pretty much it seems -to this viewer anyway- by sheer strength of will alone. Skelter never failed to doggedly hurl herself into the pack, and never let anything keep her down, even if that “anything,” was several bodies lying on her.

A cabinet maker by profession, Skelter’s duties to the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls include the Events and Sponsorship committees, doing many bar things, and being the Warehouse’s [Motorbutt’s] Dogsbody, an unofficial but nonetheless grueling position. Such unspecified but vital tasks included Skelter- swoon worthily striding about in a masterful fashion clad in a tank top and angle grinder- helping finish up the spectator wall that was required in order for Rocky to hold our WFTDA Sanctioned Besterns Tournament. Skelter was rostered to be a jammer on the Contender’s this year and did her team more than proud at Udder Chaos, April’s tournament, in Madison Wisconsin. Drafted onto the United States Pummeling Service, the Eagles greeted the scrappy jammer with open wings, just in time for the last Home Teams game where Skelter again displayed her sinewy mettle by jamming in two back to back games.

RMRG is proud to call Skelter our very own firecracker and would like to thank her for all that she does both on and off the track. Consistently humble, perpetually down to earth, a bunch of fun to be around and eternally ready to take a run-or a power tool- at the wall in front of her, Skelter really does light everything up around her.

(Author slowly backs away from article softly crooning, “You Light Up My Life.”)

Photo credit: Sophie Mercer